The (sometimes dreaded) Personal Essay
Imagine staring at a blank screen, the blinking cursor taunting “write – something – brilliant’ it seems to say on a loop.
The assignment? Craft a story that reveals your truest self.
The topic? Anything at all.
The stakes? Only your future.
That was perhaps a little dramatic. Though I might argue, perhaps exactly as dramatic as many 17 year olds wringing their hands to come up with a topic for their college essay.
It’s my hope to demystify the Personal Essay for you parents in hopes you can ease some of the stress for your rising Seniors. This blog covers:
- What the Personal Essay IS and is NOT.
- Why colleges want one.
- The 4 things that take an essay from good to great.
- Some common topics that can make it harder to stand out.
- A process from scaffolding to final edits.
What is the Personal Essay?
The personal essay is first of all, not an essay. Rather, it’s a story or stories from your child’s life that lets the reader get to know them. It is your child’s opportunity to show the admissions team what contribution they’ll make to the campus community, and as a future alum. Students should shed their notions of what they might craft for English class, and instead might look to their favorite childhood stories for inspiration (all great stories follow a formula).
What the Personal Essay is not:
It’s not what your child thinks a College wants to hear, and it’s not a listing of your child’s accomplishments. It’s also not someone else’s voice (admissions readers can REALLY tell the difference between a 17 and 47 year old writer). It’s also not expected to be Pulitzer prize worthy, formal writing. While the tone should be more respectful than the way they might chat with their friends, it can certainly be more casual than a school assignment.
Why Colleges Want Personal Essays:
I love this quote about why colleges value them:
“The best essays are the ones where we don’t just want to admit the student, we want to take them out for coffee once they’re here. We’re not admitting academic machines, we’re admitting classmates and roommates and kids who’ll make thoughtful contributions to our community.” (~Macy Lenox, Admissions Dean)
A helpful reminder that our children are more than their GPAs. As your child is debating their topic or finishing a draft, a great question to ask is ‘do you think the reader would want to get to know you better after reading this?’ (hint: if the answer is no, oftentimes it’s just a bit more specific language, emotion and vulnerability that can turn this around).
The Four Things that Take an Essay from Good to Great:
- The story showcases your child’s VALUES: what they care most about and how they show up to the world around them.
- They demonstrate VULNERABILITY: your child should aim to get a bit personal, sharing discomfort or challenges. Colleges aren’t looking for teenagers that believe they’ve figured it all out already.
- The story contains INSIGHTS: What did your child learn through their experience(s) and how did this change their view of the world (even better if they can share actions and impact based on their learning).
- The story is well CRAFTED: true writing brilliance comes in the rewriting. Save the wordsmithing and grammar tweaking for the editing phase and work on nailing 1 through 3 above first.
Common Topics That Can Make it Harder to Stand Out:
Admissions readers review thousands of essays every year from around the country and world. The truth is, many high school students, whether they play sports, captain the debate team, or run for Student Council President, have very similar experiences. Writing about a typical high school challenge raises the bar for being memorable. But if your student feels really strongly that this type of experience ‘defines’ them, encourage them to find ways to make unusual and insightful connections.
Maybe their time on the mound as a pitcher has taught them to block out distractions and listen to their inner voice. Maybe that calm inner voice means that they are the friend that everyone turns to for advice.
Maybe they are the one on the debate team always coming up with creative fundraising ideas and they work ‘round the clock to create events that allow the team to travel to tournaments they otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford.
Here’s a few topics that Admissions readers say they see a lot:
- Overcoming the sports injury to come back and win the big game.
- A person that inspires them where the reader learns a whole lot about ‘Grandpa’, but very little about the student. (your child should be the hero of their own story)
- The service trip where the child’s eyes were opened to how privileged they are and now they are full of gratitude.
- The big performance where the child puts dozens of hours into preparation, and it goes well (sure that demonstrates great work ethic, but very little vulnerability).
Some of the essays that I love sharing are endearing because they make the most mundane of topics interesting. A few of my favorites include topics like; A tour of the student’s laptop stickers, The Oxford comma, Gardening.
Putting Pen to Paper:
Suggest that your student start with the values they’d like the reader to know about them, and brainstorm stories showcasing these values. And parents! You are probably more proud of your child’s special memories than they are — don’t be afraid to see if your child is open to your help, suggesting moments in their lives when they made a positive impact.
Once your child decides on a topic, have them scaffold the arc of the story including setting context, sharing the obstacles or tension, what actions they took and what they learned or did as a result. This formula will ensure that they are ‘showing not telling’.
They can tell one story zoomed in (Narrative style) or a few stories woven together with a clever theme (Montage style) . . . like a tour of the laptop stickers that make up their passions!
Polishing It Up:
Suggest they get the whole story down before going back to worry about word counts and grammar. Much of the ‘leveling up’ can be accomplished by continuing to add specificity (make the reader feel like they’re IN the story) and emotions (make them root for you).
When the story feels solid, then it’s time to think about a compelling hook to bring the reader in at the beginning, an ending that leaves the reader satisfied (and maybe smiling), and some grammar and wordsmithing. But avoid the thesaurus too much – in storytelling clear always beats clever.
I hope these tips help to take a little bit of stress out of the blank page and best of luck to your writers this summer!
